The big 4-0. It's lurking right around the corner.
I am not even close to being where I thought I would be at 40 years old. I'm not going to dwell on that though because that really isn't what this post is about.
I can't believe how close I am to kissing my 30's goodbye. I have been dreading it. For some reason I have it set in my mind that as soon as I turn 40 my ovaries will shut down, my cervix will dry up, my uterus will close up shop, and my reproductive years are behind me. I find that to be a bit ironic though considering I have yet to be able to reproduce. Apparently my 30's didn't get the memo that the plan was to have a baby BEFORE I turned 40.
With that said, after a bit of reflecting on the upcoming "over the hill" birthday, I have decided to change my attitude about it and take a different approach to it altogether. Let's face it, the last year has been a rough one for me. I've had to deal with some very low moments. I had to battle back from not 1, but 2 failed IVF cycles. It's hard enough to plow through the cycles themselves, but then to have to pick up the pieces when they BOTH fail is another difficult task all by itself. Then, prior to the last year, the previous 7 years were filled with failed clomid cycles, not ovulating, ridiculously unpredictable cycles, and OB/GYN hopping to find out what the heck was wrong with me. So my 30's, while they were wonderful in the sense that they brought me and my husband together, were faced with many obstacles and challenges.
I survived it, though.
So, for my new outlook and change of attitude for the upcoming year, I will embrace 40 with open arms. I am actually happy to see 39 take a hike. I'm going to look at my 40th birthday as a fresh start. A new year that will hopefully come with new and improved outcomes. I will tackle my next IVF with as much gusto as I can muster up and I will give it everything I've got. I'm not going to think about the "what ifs" right now because there is just no way of knowing at this point what will happen. I'll deal with that when the time comes.
For now, I'll focus on the fact that in 12 days I'm leaving for St Louis to spend some good quality time with my man and I can't wait!!
10 comments:
Happy upcoming bday! I think your new attitude sounds perfect. It's a whole new decade of your life that is going to be fabulous and full of happy miracles!
i think that's a wonderful way to look at your birthday and start out this new chapter. good things are definitely in store for you! i hope you have a fantastic birthday and enjoy your trip! you deserve it!
This is a great attitude to have Andrea! I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that your 40's are everything you want them to be!
I love your attitude. Kiss 39 goodbye and embrace that new start just like you said! I hope and pray that the year you turned 40 will be a year you never forget bringing you love happiness and a healthy happy baby!
Love the attitude my friend!! It sucks when things don't go the way we planned but there is SOME reason for it. Whatever it may be! I'm cheering you on and praying and hoping for big and wonderful things to come your way because you deserve so much happiness. I know you'll have a fantastic trip though and I can't wait to see pics and hear about it. Love ya!!
I like your attitude! I like to think of turning 40 as a new start too. My 30s weren't the best years of my life, so I plan to make my 40s fabulous! I turn 40 next month. When is your birthday?
Btw, you are a freaking GENIUS for being able to guess my drawing of Norway on Draw Something. My drawing was terrible! Bless your heart! :0
Today is the big day :) And oddly enough, its just another day! Guess I had myself worked up over nothing! And I have to confess, my husband guessed Norway. I had no clue!!! Hope the game is helping to keep your mind preoccupied!
I am new from leigh's blog and wanted to say happy birthday. I am turning 40 later this year so I hope it is just another day for me too! Hope you have fun in st Louis!!
WOW Andrea! You always inspire me when I read your posts! You have been through so much, yet you still have a positive outlook! I am sure your blog is helping so many IF bloggers on those blue days. I remember having those bad days...and turning on my computer and finding comfort with words of other women going through the same challenges and blogs with posts like this one..positivity and strength!
hugs!
I was writing you a message on Draw Something and accidentally sent that as my word! Ack! I had a good word too, it was bubbles! Sorry!
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