Saturday, June 14, 2008

Humor and Infertility??

Ok, so I came across a website tonight that I found to be interesting. Credit goes to http://www.ivfindia.com/infertilityhumour.htm for the following post. I got a chuckle out of some of this. They say laughter is the best medicine, right? It's a long post, but worth the read!

What's a sniglet???
Sniglets are funny made-up words/definitions for those things in life that just don't seem to have any "official" terminology. The world of infertility provides lots of hilarious inspiration.
General Infertility Sniglets:

Psycho-symptom-atic Syndrome - a psychosomatic condition afflicting women during the two-week waiting period; marked by a tendency to incorrectly attribute every bodily twinge and twitch to the early stages of pregnancy.

Yearnation - the overwhelming urge to urinate while recording your morning basal body temperature reading.

Peetience - what you learn to aquire when starting to chart your basal body temperature.

* Bladder Praying - praying that your bladder will fill up so that you can take an HPT - because it's day 29 and you KNOW FOR SURE THAT THE TEST RESULTS ARE GOING TO BE POSITIVE THIS TIME.

Pregsplotion - the sudden abundance of pregnant women in your vicinity within hours of your negative pregnancy test.

Coitus timeruptus - the practice of timing intercourse to correspond with the timing of ovulation.
Doggus interruptus - when your dog interupts sex.

Cattus interrupus - when your cat interupts sex.

Coinus interruptus - the impact of infertility treatments on one's pocketbook.

Mucusology - the inexact science of attempting to determine the timing of ovulation.

Freeballing - the step beyond boxers taken by truly devoted husbands with low sperm count.

Freeballitis - chaffing and raw skin associated with freeballing.

Briefectomy - furtive removal of all tight-fitting briefs from your husband's underwear drawer.

Rigorous mortis - loss of interest in sex due to lack of spontaneity in timing.

Male sex drive - something constantly in motion, but shuts down completely from his wife's cycle days 10-16, because, after all, what's the use...

Transfurryence - treating your pets like human babies.

Clearpit Easy - bottomless pit into which women hurl buckets of money while repeatedly testing for pregnancy way too early or while testing for an LH surge.

"Looteal" phase: The period of time between cycles when all of the insurance statements/doctor's bills come in from the beginning of the cycle. Also a time to save $$ for the upcoming cycle.

Assincline - the odd-looking practice of elevating a woman's buttocks after intercourse in order to maximize the sperm's ability to swim for the egg.

Gluteus Unrelaximus - side effect of the uncomfortable act of propping up the buttocks after baby-sex.

Multiplous avoidus - the act of reminding the nurses yet again (!) to avoid the "infertility" diagnosis on insurance forms.

Day-one-dering - wondering why oh why you have to deal with "day one", yet again!

Pitspermitis - the crick in your armpit which arises from carrying that plastic bottle of semen from home to the clinic.

Preggozone - the magnetic area around all infertile women that draws expectant mothers into close viewing range; the first day of any cycle has the greatest magnetic field, closely followed by any day on which an infertile womans fails a pregnancy test.

Snow White Complex - the mental state following your careful examination of white undies and panty liners for indications of mucus or menstrual flow.

Miss Mannerism - the habit, when people ask you nosy questions about when you're going to get pregnant or make rude comments like "want my kids?" of looking a combination of shocked and puzzled and saying something like, "Why ever would you say such a thing?"

Graphic Imagination - tweaking, massaging, reorienting, or redrawing your basal body temperature graph/data in an attempt to see either a temperature rise or the magic triphasic pregnancy pattern.

Inferguilty - how you feel when you're having a bad day and you read someone's post announcing their pregnancy and you are overcome with the urge to kill them.

Clomidfiend - A woman under the influence of Clomid-induced mood swings; someone who wants to blame anything and everything on the drug.

ClomiWITCH - a woman uner the influence of clomid. She can becoime the WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!!!!!

Justwaition - 1. the two weeks between ovualation and a pregnancy test. 2. a period of time just before gestation.

Hormotional - easily rattled emotional state brought on by hormone surges; especially symptomatic of women on fertility drugs.

Hormonally Challenged - the politically correct term for a woman who is having mood swings due to infertility treatement.

Pregnition - the act of starting on fertility treatment.

Inputty - what your brain turns to after reading too many newsgroup messages at one time.

Copyright � 1996, 1997, 1998 by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. KramerAll rights reserved. The text from this page may be distributed as long as copyright is attached and the use is not for profit.

1 comment:

Carlia said...

That was AWESOME! I needed a good laugh, because I am a bit "hormotional" today! Thanks for posting that!