WHY do so many of us have to struggle and fight for something that should be our God given right as women to have?
WHY can it so easily be taken away from us in the blink of an eye, when we are so willing to nourish and cherish the blessing growing inside of us?
My heart is just breaking for my dear friend, LC today as she learned that her baby stopped growing a few days ago. WHY does this have to happen?????? She was supposed to be seeing her baby for the first time, not mourning an unbearable loss.
I'm not a real religious person, but I do believe in God and a higher power. I do believe that a child growing inside of us is a true gift and miracle from God, but what I have trouble with, is wondering why God would put this precious gift inside of us, only for us to have it ripped away from us? It's times such as these that I question faith.
I struggle desperately and cringe every time I hear someone say, "It'll happen in God's time, and when He believes you're ready." What qualifies someone as being "ready" or it being the "right time" ????
Us women that make up the IF community would give anything to have a child, to love them, nurture them, protect them, guide and teach them to be wonderful and productive members of society some day. We are the ideal candidates for motherhood. WE ARE READY for that gift and miracle. So why is it being withheld from us?
With every obstacle we have to overcome, our journey becomes more and more tainted. I envy those naive and unscathed women out there who bask in the joys of their pregnancies without a care in the world. IF I'm ever blessed enough to become pregnant, how will I enjoy it and bask in my own pregnancy when I will live in constant fear that it will be ripped away from me?
I truly believe we are some of THE strongest women out there. To get through infertility, we are forced to be strong. Sure, we have moments of weakness and feelings of pain and defeat. But we have to find a way to keep going. To keep fighting. To work through the pain and push forward. It's our only option, as we have all learned throughout this journey that fighting is the only way for us to reach our ultimate goal. Even then, there are no guarantees that we'll get there.
4 comments:
I wo under this all the time as well, but have zero answers. I agree that we infer tiles are some of the strongest women out there, as well as the most deserving. So why does motherhood elude us? (hugs) I wish I had an easy answer, and if something comes to me and I finally get an ah ha moment I'll let you know;)
I know exactly where you are coming from. IF makes you re-evaluate a lot. After our m/c I lost the little faith I had remaining, I just could not reconcile myself with the logic process.
It's a hard path to take and one that does truly test your strength, it's hard wanting something so badly that other people can attain so easily :(
that is the million dollar question, isn't it? hearing the cliche answers gets so old, too. i wish i knew the real reason, because it truly is unfair. B always reminds me that what is a blessing for some is a trial for others. i'm not sure how much i agree with that, though, because a child is ALWAYS a blessing. all i know is the pain of this experience has made me stronger and has helped me to meet some amazing, inspiring women that i wouldn't have met otherwise. big hugs!!!
Thank you to one of my dearest friends. Love you!
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