1 Month :)

This sweet boy of mine sure has kept me on my toes the past month!  There are days that it feels like he has been with us forever, and then there are times that it seems like we were just taking our 38 week bump pic and celebrating Christmas! Either way, being a mom to this precious blessing has been the biggest challenge and most rewarding experience of my life thus far. I often find myself just staring at him in awe and not believing that after everything we've been through to have a baby, he is finally here. I'm not sure that surreal feeling will ever go away. I'm not sure I want it to.

February 6, 2013 - ONE month old!

(Just so I don't forget anything!!) During Brendan's 1st month, here are some things I've noticed...

- He loves to eat...and often! He seems to be eating anywhere from 2-4.5 oz every 1.5 - 3 hours. This gets very exhausting at night, as that tends to be the time he prefers to space his feedings closer together! I've been very fortunate to have my parents here since before he was born, so they have been a tremendous help to Sean and I. I've been doing my best at letting Sean sleep since he has to work (currently working 72 hrs/wk, 6 days a week) and me pulling baby duty so he doesn't have to be a complete zombie at work. Of course, this task has been made a bit easier with the help of my folks. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to repay them for how much they have helped me out.

- He is quite the stretcher! Any chance he gets he stretches his entire body as far as he can. This is so fun to watch with his little arms reaching as far over his head as he can get them.

- He's really starting to get interested in everything going on around him. He has great control now over his eye movement and will look towards sounds and music. He loves to stare at the lights in our kitchen. He's also a big fan of white noise sounds. They seem to have almost a hypnotic affect on him when he's being a fussy butt.

- He's very strong! He's now able to hold his head up while turning it from side to side for quite a bit before it starts bobbling. He does this mainly when we're holding him against our chest.

- I'm starting to learn to distinguish between his different cries. When he's hungry it's more of an abrupt "yell" telling us, hey, I'm ready to grub! When he's gassy it's a cry that absolutely breaks my heart. That one tends to come with him clinching his fists and attempting to crawl up our chest. We're still trying to get the gas under control with different remedies. I hate that he's experiencing pain from that. It's getting better, but still not great. I'm hoping that his digestive tract matures soon so he doesn't have to be in this pain any longer. In the meantime, I'll continue to find ways to soothe it and make it better for him.

Here are a few more pics from the past month... (I'm trying to decide whether or not to make my blog private. I'm not sure I feel comfortable posting his pictures in such a public place. I'll keep you posted of that when I decide!)

As for me...I'm still feeling soreness at my incision site from the C-section. It's very tender to the touch and I'm looking forward to the day when that's completely healed. My hormones have seemed to become more stable. I was a complete wreck after delivery and for about 2 weeks postpartum. I was crying at the drop of a hat, feeling inadequate as a mom, and at times, in the back of my mind, even wondering what we got ourselves into when having a baby. I wasn't sure I would get the hang of it and ever feel like I knew what I was doing. I hate to say that because I truly love and adore my son more than I can ever express in words. It's just that I never in my wildest dreams prepared myself for how difficult it was to go from "pregnant" to "mom."

This has been hard. It's been exhausting. It's been a HUGE learning experience.

Yet, at the same time, it's been amazing and truly the best thing that's ever happened to me. It has brought me even closer to my husband, which I didn't think was possible! I have no greater joy in life than watching my husband and son interact. It melts my heart to see him nurture and love Brendan. He is such an amazing dad and I'm so fortunate to have him as my best friend and husband. For the past 10 years I've watched him be an amazing dad to his daughter, and I couldn't wait for the day when we had a child of our own. He has far exceeded my expectations of what a "father" should be and I love him so much!