11 Weeks

I've decided it was time to post an update on what's been going on with me. I seem to have a wall up and have been very guarded about letting myself self feel joy and excitement. I can't shake the fear that this is all going to be taken away from me. I know that regardless if I feel guarded or just let the fears go, nothing will change the outcome. I'm really trying to work hard at just relaxing and enjoying this ride. The happiness and excitement are definitely there. But at the same time, when I start getting too excited, I feel like I try to snap myself out of it. I hate that I do that. 

I feel like I'm in an awkward position right now. I'm so excited to finally be experiencing what I have fought for so many years to experience. I thank God on a daily basis for giving me one more day to be growing this life inside of me. Yet, at the same time, I almost feel a sense of guilt for being in a position that so many others (including some of my followers) are still fighting to reach. I truly in my heart wish that infertility didn't exist and that we all could be pregnant when we want to be, and experience what we, as women, deserve to experience. So, with that said....for those of you still fighting, please know that I pray every day for your time to come. And, I believe your time WILL come.

As for my pregnancy.....

Things are going well. I did end up having a bleeding scare at 9w1d. This wasn't spotting, it was a good amount of bright red blood. As you can imagine, I became very panicked and feared the worst. Since I graduated from my RE after my 8w5d sonogram, I called my OB to see if they could see me to make sure everything was ok. Fortunately, I had my 1st OB appointment the following morning anyways, so they asked me to come in 30 minutes early so they could do a sonogram. The baby was completely oblivious to the bleeding. Just wiggling away in there with a strong heartbeat of 177 bpm. It turned out the source of my bleeding was a very small subchorionic hemorrhage. I haven't had any significant bleeding since. Just some pesky spotting.

Today I am 11 weeks. I had a follow-up sonogram this morning to check on the hemorrhage and it appears to be gone. Yay! I also let my OB know that I'm heading to CA on Friday and I'll be gone for 3 weeks. So I really wanted to get another look at the baby before I left to make sure everything is ok. Things were great! I'm measuring exactly 11 weeks and baby had a strong heartbeat of 174 bpm. The little stinker was enjoying a morning nap though so I wasn't able to see any dancing around this time.

Other than that, I'm still trucking along!