I can't believe that in less than 2 weeks I'll be living in Kansas. Although it doesn't rank rank very high on my list of places I'd love to live, it's the place that's enabling Sean and I to have our life back, so for that I'm grateful. He's been working at his job now since May 10 and he loves it!!! I'm so happy for him that he's able to enj0y life again and not be under such a crazy amount of stress anymore. I miss seeing him, and I'm so ready to be there with him and to get settled into life again.
I'm still having fairly regular cycles, although they're longer than they should be. I'm really hoping that once we get moved into the house and I get back on my diet routine that my cycles will shorten up some. I really need to lose about 40 more pounds and I know I can do it, but man it seems like such a steep hill to climb to get there.
I still find it difficult to have confidence that I'll be a mom someday. I want that so much, but I'm just feeling like my time is about up. I don't know if I should just accept that it's probably not going to happen, or if I should try to dig down deep and find some belief somewhere inside myself that it could still happen. I can't believe how different my life is from how I "planned" it would be. I know either way, children or no children, that I'm blessed and that I'll continue to have a wonderful life, but there is so much emptiness from that one missing piece....
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