Counting the Days...

Until January 13th. I FINALLY have my appointment with the RE and I'm scared and excited both at the same time. I have such a mix of emotions, and even thought about cancelling my appointment (briefly), because I just have a fear of things not working out and me having to accept that I may never be a mom. I feel like I'm sabotaging myself too and I need to knock this crap off. I've been eating horribly and my diet has been so bad recently. I've gained back a fair amount of my 35 pounds (still down about 20 pounds) and it makes me so angry with myself. I need to snap out of it and get my act together again and realize that if I don't make these crucial changes with my diet NOW, then ya, I may never get pregnant.